After the Holidays: 5 Signs Your Aging Parent May need More Support (& What to Do Next)

Brenda Soto

For many adult children, the holidays are the first time all year they really see how their aging parents are doing day-to-day.

You might come home thinking:

• "Mom seemed more forgetful than last year..."

• "Dad looked unsteady on his feet."

• "Their house doesn't feel as clean or organized as it used to."

Those little alarms in your head? They matter. You don't need to panic, but you also don't need to ignore them.

As an RN Advocate, we often meet families in January who say, "I knew something was off over Christmas, but I didn't know what to do next."

If this feels similar, this blog might be for you.

Here are five common signs your aging parent might need more support and some practical next steps you can take.

1. Changes in Memory or Conversation

   
   

You might notice:

• Repeating the same story or question several times

• Struggling to find words

• Getting mixed up on dates, appointments, or recent events

Some memory changes are part of normal aging, but noticeable shifts - especially ones that feel different from years past - are worth paying attention to.

What you can do:

• Gently keep notes on what you're seeing (with dates & examples)

• Encourage a check-up with their primary care provider, especially if it's been awhile

• Offer to go with them, or join by phone, so you can respectfully share your observations

An advocate can help you prepare what to say, support your parent in the visit, and make sure follow-up steps are clear.

2. Changes in Mobility or Balance
   

Maybe you noticed:

• Slower walking, stiffness, or shuffling

• Holding onto furniture or walls while walking

• Trouble getting up from a chair or bed

• Hesitation with stairs

These can be early signs of fall risk, which is one of the biggest reasons older adults end up in the hospital.

What you can do:

• Ask, "Have you fallen recently or almost fallen?"

• Check that hallways and bathrooms have good lighting and clear walkways

• Suggest a visit with their provider to talk about balance, pain, or weakness

• Ask their provider about:

  • Physical therapy for strength and balance

  • Assistive devices like a cane or walker (and how to use them safely)

An RN Advocate can help coordinate fall-prevention steps and make sure recommendations are realistic for your parent's home and routines.

3. Changes in the Home Environment

   
   

Sometimes the house tells you a lot:

• Stacks of unopened mail

• Past-due bills

• Spoiled food in the fridge

• Laundry or clutter piling up

These may be signs your parent is feeling physically or cognitively overwhelmed, or simply that daily tasks are becoming too much.

What you can do:

• Offer specific help instead of general:

  • "Can I help you sort the mail?"

  • "Let's go through the fridge together."

• Ask how they feel they're managing at home

An advocate can help evaluate what level of support is appropriate (a little extra help vs. home health vs. bigger changes) and connect you with services if needed.

4. Changes in Health Management

Pay attention to how they're handling:

• Medications (missing doses, confusion, extra bottles, pill organizers not being used)

• Appointments (missed visits, confusion about follow-ups)

• Chronic conditions (blood pressure, diabetes, heart failure, etc.)

Red flags:

• "I'm not sure what this pill is for."

• "I just take what's in the bottle, it changes all the time."

• "I haven't been back to the doctor in a while; I'm tired of appointments."

  
  

What you can do:

• Help create or update a medication list with names, doses, and times

• Ask if you can be added as a trusted contact in their medical records

• Suggest they bring someone (you, a friend, or an advocate) to appointments

This is one of the most powerful places an RN Advocate can help - by reviewing portals, organizing medication lists, and helping your parent understand their care plan.

5. Changes in Mood, Engagement, or Energy

   
   

You might notice:

• Withdrawing from hobbies, church, or community activities

• Sleeping more than usual

• Irritability, sadness, or hopelessness

• A general "slowing down" or loss of interest in things they used to enjoy

This could point to depression, anxiety, grief, or medical changes that are absolutely worth addressing - it may not be just be them "getting old."

What you can do:

• Ask open-ended questions

  • "Tell me how you've really been feeling lately?"

  • What's been hardest for you these days?"

• Encourage a visit with their provider to talk about mood and energy, not just physical issues.

An advocate can help your parent voice these concerns in appointments, especially if they don't want to "bother" the doctor.

What to Do if You're Worried but Don't Want to Overstep

It's a delicate balance. You love your parents. You don't want to "take over," but you also don't want to ignore clear signs that they may be struggling. Here are some gentle phrases you can use:

• "I care about you, and I noticed a few things over the holidays that have me a little worried. Can we talk about them?"

• "Would you be open to us getting a little extra support so things feel easier for you?"

• "We don't have to make big changes today. Let's just get some information."

If you'd like help sorting out what you're seeing and what steps make sense, that's exactly what Aging Ally does with RN Advocacy.

Worried About an Aging Parent After the Holidays?

If you came home with a knot in your stomach, wondering if your mom or dad is really okay, that's not you being "dramatic," - that's you paying attention.

Aging Ally works with adult children and families in Nebraska to:

• Sort through what you're seeing and what it might mean

• Prepare for medical visits and ask the right questions

• Coordinate care and follow-up so nothing falls through the cracks

• Support aging parents with dignity, respect, and compassion

We welcome you to start with a free 20-minute phone consult where you can simply tell us your story: what you noticed, what worries you, and what options might be next.

Call: 531-893-1546

Email: info@agingally.org

Learn more at: www.agingally.org